Tell us about a REALLY funny experience

[StoneDragon]

I got a million of 'em.... but the funniest has to be this one:


We were playing in this dance club. It was the second time we had played this place, and we were well liked by the regulars. On this particular set nobody was dancing... which was kinda unusual now that I think about it http://www.zentao.com/ubb/wink.gif

Anyway, the place was packed, and everybody that I could see was watching the band, when out onto the dance floor comes this middle-aged lady dressed like a tourist. She was wearing a one-piece swim suit with tennis shorts on over the bottom and an unbuttoned hawaiian-type shirt over the top.

She sidles up to the front of the stage, sort of dancing and swaying, like she is really grooving on our sound, but then she turns her back to us. She then proceeds to pull her shorts down, bend over, hike the crotch band of her swim suit as far as it will go up the crack of her butt and spread her cheeks into the biggest, nastiest BA I have ever seen in my life http://www.zentao.com/ubb/eek.gif


I was laughing so hard I had to stop playing http://www.zentao.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

[GRAVY]

Damn- that's quite an experience.I hope it didn't leave a scar.

I remember one time the band that I was playing in called Hypnotic Tramp was playing an outdoor festival, and we were all really excited to be playing at this event with two other bands that were good friends of ours. Anyway, all through the day we were setting up and the weather was beautiful, until it was time to play later on that night. It seemed like as soon as we started playing the rain set in. This probably was have ruined the gig but it seemed the mood was just right that everybody stayed, soaking wet and having a great time. I'm sure having 13 kegs probably kept people hanging around also. To make a long story short I just remember this being a great time and to this day I still run into people that were at that show telling me how much fun they had!

[StoneDragon]

After two years of therapy, medication, and hypnosis, I was finally able to play guitar again, but I found that I could only play Barry Manillow tunes http://www.zentao.com/ubb/confused.gif

[ghodaddyyo]

I ran across this story on the FDP. If you think your stories were great, put yourselves in this mans shoes!

[As a Bandmate and I headed for a gig in a driving rainstorm at night, he ran out of gas. We had to hike seven blocks, in the rain, with all of our gear. While walking up the sidewalk to the venue spot, I stepped in a HUGE pile of dog *****, slipped and fell with the corner of my Super Reverb catching me squarely in the b*lls. There was no question who would be singing the high parts that evening...

After the first song, the guy that hired us asked where the accordian player was... Then, in the middle of a ripping solo on Johnny B. Goode, my bandmate's vintage AC-30 began smoking, followed shortly by great flames! He kept on playing and the flames were spectacular! Finally, the amp toasted itself and quit. Then the accordian lover told us we sucked and he wasn't going to pay us. My bandmate (6'4", 230 lbs) lifted the guy off the floor by his neck and threatened to plaster him. We got paid immediately... On the way out it was still dark and I managed to step in the dog ***** again. We hiked to a nearby gas station, bought a gallon of gas, and headed for the car- only to find that it had been towed away! I thought the night would never end! Have faith- there IS life after a bad gig!]

[StoneDragon]

JEEZUS!!!!!

... So what is this FDP you mention?

[ghodaddyyo]

The FDP is the Fender Discussion Page. I started out here as I had many questions on various Fender Products I own. It is the largest Discussion Page I've ever seen, and has around 5,000 worldwide members. Most talk revolves around Fender, but they have Forums for generally everything else as well. Bunch of professional musicians on this site.
http://www.fenderforum.com/fdp.html

[FUNKGRAVY]

What- Were not professional musicians? http://www.zentao.com/ubb/tongue.gif

[StoneDragon]

sigh... I can only dream af having that many registered users on this board.

[ghodaddyyo]

You've got me pushing for you! Don't worry, the FDP are nothing but a bunch of Fender snobs, and are only interested in blues and blues guitar idols such as Hendrix, Clapton, SRV. I just read a thread there about how someone liked the Edge(as I do) and they just mobbed him! http://www.zentao.com/ubb/mad.gif Heaven forbid you try to start a discussion that takes attention away from the Blues!

[squierboy/tremonti]

ok i was playing around with my band in my freinds basement we were at a break in our practice set so we all went and watched the tube.then down comes the stairs to drunk people(my drummers dad and hooker i think)
well anyway they lay down on my freinds couch and start doing the horizontal mombo
i am siting there lauging my *** off so they are completly in the nude and my friend gets the idea to hit his crash and break up the meeting so he does and i have never seen someone jump so high it was so funny crotch in hand

[StoneDragon]

You guys should whip up a special song that you could (pardon the expression) pull out just for occasions like that hahahahahaha

[squierboy/tremonti]

ok i will try but it i is still giving me nightmares

[Jagstang666]

I dropped my cousins Les Paul down the stairs once. Took out a lamp my mom made in high school, my sisters mirror, and 6 crystal glasses.

[Joseph]

About four or five years ago, just before highschool ended, I had a pretty well established band, except it seemed like I was the only perfectionist. Before our gigs, I wanted to make sure that everything was just right, and it seemed like all they cared about was whether or not we were loud enough. One of our amps wen't out during rehearsal, everything just seemed to go wrong that night, but I was the only one who felt that we needed to do something about it. It seemed like most every musician I was involved in before highschool really had trouble motivating themselves, and refused to excercise their good sences as to what sounded good. Overall, I think its safe to say that the worst problem Ive had over the past few years is finding the right drummer, (or at least able to hang onto him.

[RxTone]

Ok..We were on our way to Aspen to play at the Double Diamond and the FOH engineer and myself were in the long cab Ryder equipment truck.For whatever reason the drummer was riding with us on this particular leg of the trip..He doesn't drink alcohol,doesn't smoke and doesn't even drink cokes or coffee...Pure living,ya know?...anyway...we had bought a bag of chocolate covered coffee beans at a truck stop at some point in the trip..Well, we weren't paying attention and after a while the drummer said he apologized for eating all of our candy but he wanted to know what kind it was...LMAO...when we realized he had eaten that much caffeine we called the band on the radio and told them that at the next stop the drummer was getting back on the bus with them..poor guy..he was ZOOMING on caffeine....

[JT-Slimmer]

Alot of members is nice, man. But it's gonna be a hassle. Ford-trucks.com has a little over 22,000 active memebers. Ken payne spend between 70 and 80 hours a week keeping them all straight and keeping everybodies butts in line. Because if you say heck with it, things get real ugly real quick. People cussing eachother out and name calling and arguing. Just messes up the entire place for everyone else who are acctually trying to offer and gain info.

[DFX]

OK, many years ago my first band were talked into doing a benefit show at a school for disabled kids, anyway after the show a kid aged about 10 or so with all kinds of disabilities wheels himself up to our drummer and says" I just wanna tell you something" so our drummer kneels down to this kid and in his nicest kindliest way says "yes what is it" and the kid replies" that was the biggest load of ***** I've ever seen in my life"

[This message has been edited by DFX (edited December 05, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by DFX (edited December 05, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by DFX (edited December 05, 2001).]

[StoneDragon]

Ouch!

[Pendito]

We were playing a Pig&Keg type venue at the coast, right on the water. Nice setup, eve a canopy provided. Only problem was that the seabirdies perched in lines on top. They were crapping on everything... Our lead had the habit of pushing his chin up high on the high sustains. On song 3 he turned his chin up and let go with a wide open mouth ... ya you guessed it. He gagged, swallowed and then proceeded to puke all over the equipment. That was the end of the gig.

[axslinger]

This has nothing to do with a gig but is horrifying just the same. Many years ago I was in a variety band. Like pretty much everyone, I worked during the day and played at night. One nite I forgot to take my Hamer Sunburst of of my car (back when they were made in America. About 1982 or so). It stayed in my car all of the next day. Black car, black interior, black guitar case...85 degrees outside.

When I opened the case I was horrified to see that the finish had melted and had 'case fuzz' stuck to it and the finish had 'orange-peeled' everywhere.

Even though I had no experience working on guitar finishes, I decide to fix it myself. I consulted with a guitar tech, he gave me some pointers and I was able to fix it! I basically sanded it with 600 grit, then used steel wool then polishing compound. I was quite proud of that fix-it job. I even fixed a spot on the neck where it had bubbled up. It was as good as new.

Brian

[Vinnie]

Once upon a time (1995), in a land far far away (college), our band landed our first "real" gig. By real I mean not a party, an actual bar/dance hall. We were all so excited that we immediately said yes without hesitating. We were offered $2 per per cover charge. Finally, real money! What we failed to do was find out the details.

It was a bar called Los Lobos. We were told we could play any type of music that this was not a "specialty" bar. So we go to this place, set up our gear, sound checks, fine tune everything. We sounded great, lights were good, PA was great, owner liked us.

So we stayed backstage until it was time to come out (10:00 pm). We hear all sorts of people out there and are getting really excited. This will definitely be our largest crowd ever.

10:00 rolls around, we're announced, we hit the stage and start jamming. After we play our first two songs, we realize that no one is really into us. Upon this discovery, I take a closer look at the crowd....hispanic. It was a hispanic bar and not a one of them spoke English. Needless to say we were ingored the entire night and go paid very little.

Moral of the story: Learn the details, and translate all your songs to Spanish.

--Vinnie--
Slayer of Donuts

[axslinger]

About 15 years ago we had a wedding gig lined up. We get to the gig and we're waiting for the drummer to show up. We finally get a phone call. It was winter time and somebody rear-ended him, with his drums in the trunk. Smashed his drums and he had minor injuries. The people that hired us insisted we play without a drummer. I was dead set against it. We sucked bad enough as it was. I wasnt about to humiliate myself. But the other guys insisted on playing. So there we are, two guitars and bass with no drummer. You know that 'flushed' feeling you get when you're really embarassed, your face gets hot and you want to hide under a rock? Well, that's how I fell for about 3 hours. Non stop.

Then there are the gigs we accepted without really being ready and not having enough songs. Nothing more embarassing than having to repeat half your songs cause you don't know enough. Or being half way through a song you've played a million times and suddenly you're lost! You can't remember a single chord. As if you've never played the song before. Or when you're all geeked up for a solo you've been practicing your *** on, there's somebody in the crowd you want to impress, you rip into your solo...! Except you're off by a half-step! You're looking at your guitar as if to say "whats wrong with this piece of shi*!? The real fun part is when the rest of the band looks at you like you're naked. Ho, hum. So it goes.

Brian

[MrSamson]

Or when you're all geeked up for a solo you've been practicing your *** on, there's somebody in the crowd you want to impress, you rip into your solo...! Except you're off by a half-step! You're looking at your guitar as if to say "whats wrong with this piece of shi*!?

That is Hilarious...especially the end "what the hell is wrong with my guitar..."

Hahaha...never done that at a gig yet, but certainly have at practice...hilarious...had it been a 1/2 step up, woulda been amazing.

MrSamson

[swm]

after a really bad gig (15 people tops) the drummer and i had loaded up the van and were heading to the rehearsal space when we see our new singer in the middle of the street in a fist fight!! we jump out of the van and ask him what was going on, he says "this guy said something about the band!" so we look at the guy on the ground bleeding and he says "i told him i thought you guys were GREAT!" so our singer says 'oh sorry' and leaves the guy in the middle of the road! likely the only fan we had that night and our singer beats the snot out of him!

[Jagstang666]

LOL!! That sucks man. When I was in 8th grade and we all sucked, we decided to play some Green Day song for the "graduation" ceremony thing. Everyone in school listened to rap. We got booed by 300 people, and that kinda hurt.

[tapper5]

well this is the honest ta gods truth, i was heading to ottawa for a symposium when my boss and i stopped at this truck stop for a bite, we went in got a table,and as usual i had to take a frucking leak.well i go up in such a hurry i tripped and as i stumbled i reached out to table beside me to help break my fall,lmaooooooooo,the guy there then said hey dude you ok,i said thats what happens when ya gotta hang a rat,lol ,i looked up and to my amazement i was talking to Kim Mitchel & rest of band was sitting there to,lol to make long story short,i ended up sitting having a beer with them and got auto-graghand cd,Kim Mitchel really is down to earth and really does take time out for his fans...what a kool guy.

[Angelo Sascalla]

I don't know how funny this is but it's true.
In 83 the band I was in did a four month tour of Canada. We were playing in a small dive, simular to a bikers bar, on the outskirts of Toronto one weekend about a month into our tour.

I'd rented all my equipment except my '68 SG. I had four speaker cabs and two 140 watt heads, I think they were Marshall, that I rented, some effects pedals, an acoustic and two mics. I rented them from a music store in Ft.Worth.

On about 11:30 some cops came in and began talking to several people in the audiance. Then more cops came in. At 11:45 we stopped for a break and went out back for some air. While we were there the cops hauled off almost our entire audience and the owner. We were questioned and "No, we don't have any drugs or automatic weapons," we replied. At least no weapons.

They locked the place up and I still haven't had my SG returned to me. For ten years I was getting letters and judgements against me from the music store, but they went outta business.

It's funny now, except for my primo SG.

[theozzwomancometh]

Dude, that really blows. That breaks my heart, and it wasn't even my guitar! Guess it's my soft spot for SG's.

[Jagstang666]

Wow man, that does blow. I'd ring the cops necks. I can add that to my list of reasons why I don't like cops.

[XBwick]

Maybe I missed something but why couldn't you get your guitar back?!!? That's awful.

[Vi String Slinger]

my worst experience,
a couple years ago,
we were playing a worship song at church ya know, its all quiet and everyone is in to it, the my amp starts making alll these reallly loud clicking sounds like the reverb spring was going nuts.
I got alooooot of strange looks that night.

[Jagstang666]

When I first started playing on my friend's guitar, I went to a store with him to look at guitars, and I was trying out some kind of guitar, and there was a pedal board, so I plugged into that, not knowing anything about it. The store was full of people, because it was around Christmas time, and it was pretty tough to walk around because it was so crowded. Well I didn't even look at the amp volume, and it was around 7 or so, and it was a 100 watt amp, and could easily fill the store. Well anyway, I start playing with the pedals, and considering I didn't know anything, I figured once you stepped on one, the other one shuts off. It turned out that I turned on about 5 pedals at once, and got A TON of feedback, and weird noises, and I thought if I played a note, it would all go a way, so I just strummed the low E string, and everyone looked at me. I felt like such an idiot.

[MikeWithTheEvilBlackHat]

No music stories (yet).I got as good one from a pro wrestling gig a few years back. But only Ifin's yer interestedhttp://www.zentao.com/ubb/smilies/hammerhead.gif

[Soggie Muffin]

Yes.

[jdkazi]

OK well I have a horror story. Its about music mind you however it isnt about my guitar playing days. Short history on me (Ive played classical violin my intire life almost. My degree is in performance Rice Univ. Houston Texas) anyway i went to high school in pasadena texas right outside of houston. i real gangster land if you know what i mean. well my sophmore year in college my music instructor from high school whom i remained close to in college even, asked me if for the final orchestra concert if i would come and play with the orchestra. he wanted me to play the four season (a series of 4 violin concertos if you dont know) anyway i agreed...so its the night before the last day of school. ive made it through the first 3 concertos..now im playing the 1st movement of Winter..my favorite no less...and a few cripts or bloods...whichever im not down with all that...come into the auditorium and i guess they werent classical fans...cause they stormed the damn stage...my $1900 violin im afraid was used for protection...however it really ****** some of the parents in the audince off....i swear there were parents all over the stage helping us out....i filed my first police report that night haha...anyway...i thought nothing like that would never happen playing classical music...i hope now that ive opted to try out a life in the rock scene that it doesnt get worse...there were some hard punches thrown that night...

[BrettV]

I miss the days when stone posted.

-tk

[drumstix128@aol.com]

Help us StoneDragon! Your our only help!

[andyrohrer]

i was at a recording studio about 2 years ago. we were doing an acoustic track, and i forgot mine. (figures!) and so i ask this dude if i can borrow his. Clearly it was one of his most precious objects in the world, but because we'd recorded there a few times before he let me borrow it. Anyway this guitar was a Cf martin think it must have been about 20 years old, he had it valued some months before and it turned out it was a rare item and worth over 10,000. So i go upstairs to collect the guitar, however on my way down i try to avoid his new custom classic strat, which was leant up against the wall on the stairs, i slipped and knocked the guitar over, standing on the neck, snapping it. i tried to re gain balance so i wouldnt break the acoustic, however there was leverage on the fenders body cos i was on its neck, so the fender body flys upward at about 200mph pretty much shattering my hip, rebounds off and goes directly through the back of the martin and breaks that into about 40 pieces. overwhealmed by pain i feel down the rest of the stairs. i went the hospital with a broken hip, and was never allowed back into his studio again. moral of the story? take your equipment with you everywhere you go!

[Spirit]

Well, this for me has to be the funniest. I'm in my last year at school in UK, and a year ago we played in the annual rock concert at my school. It was all good initially - 400 people is a good amount for a first gig, but I hadn't had any experience on stage before, even though I've been playing for about 7 years. We were in the middle of some cheesy punk song, I forget which, and it has to be the worst succession of events ever that followed:

1) I dropped my pick, and had no spares so I ended up finishing the song with finger and thumb, which sounded appalling and felt even worse - talk about skin loss!

2) The soundman who we payed a lot of money to decided it would sound better if the bass was put louder than the guitar...oh my god. On the recording, the guitar is inaudible.

Moral of this: get someone you trust as a soundman or just configure the mixing desk yourself and threaten with painful death anyone who dares change the settings!

3) I fell off a speaker cabinet...enough said.

Overall though, people loved us. I suppose I did get the Metallica songs we played completely correct, including solos, but the last song was just ridiculous!! I wouldn't have loved us...
Later,
-Chaz

[CodeLizard26]

sigh... I can only dream af having that many registered users on this board.

Fuhgeddaboudit as the Mob would say ;)...

Its not how many you have, its how much fun it is to be around them.

'Sides, I just started reading your lessons last night (sad that I had to find them 7 years too late but eh... thems the breaks), and I just have to say, this is a /great/ site... especially since I've been looking for stuff like this for
ages, and haven't been at all successful at finding something this indepth.

You provide a great service to us StoneDragon :).

*holds up a lit lighter and waves it*

-- CodeLizard26

PS: Just a thought, anywhere a code monkey (software developer), might get some ideas from one of these forums to write some software (or perhaps design some hardware), that might be useful to guitar players? :)

[0.1 watts]

We played a gig on last day of school, everything was perfect except our singer. He was crap... We played alice coopers "schools out" and pink floyds "another brick in the wall" (great songs to play at school), and 3 other covers and 2 originals. Anyways out of the 200 people there were only about 30 people watching us, and they were SITTING DOWN not moshing to queen or anything. I still think they were there just to laugh at our singer...

[elvisdudette]

wells i got a story kinda funny at the time, not so much now though lol i'll still tell it haha, ok well me and my friends were waiting for the bus so we could go to our basketball game, me and one friend (forward) i'm really close to are singing "stand by me" (i was completely off key at the time cus i had a cold hehe) so my friend asks me if i wanna play along on the guitar to that song at our school talent show, i say sure, so then this smart alec girl on the team (our point gaurd thinkin she all cool) says to me if u sing like that i'de like to see how bad u play, now i know she was just messin wit me so i ask her if she plays and if so i'de like to hear her and that she shouldn't be talkin, so she says yeah i bin playing for three years and i bet i'm way better htan you!! now i'm almost certain that this is BS and i say fine u bring ur ax tomorow and i'll bring mine we'll have a shredding contest and she goes along wit it, then another girl (fellow center :) ) says to her ok then how do u play a Z chord? and she starts going will you put your finger here and then... we all start crackin up cus there no such thing as a Z chord yep thats my story lol

[Puddlegum66]

A "Z" chord huh? That's too funny.

[elvisdudette]

lol yeah

[gtrhrcane]

nice.... Z Chord.

[Ranger]

i was at a recording studio about 2 years ago. we were doing an acoustic track, and i forgot mine. (figures!) and so i ask this dude if i can borrow his. Clearly it was one of his most precious objects in the world, but because we'd recorded there a few times before he let me borrow it. Anyway this guitar was a Cf martin think it must have been about 20 years old, he had it valued some months before and it turned out it was a rare item and worth over 10,000. So i go upstairs to collect the guitar, however on my way down i try to avoid his new custom classic strat, which was leant up against the wall on the stairs, i slipped and knocked the guitar over, standing on the neck, snapping it. i tried to re gain balance so i wouldnt break the acoustic, however there was leverage on the fenders body cos i was on its neck, so the fender body flys upward at about 200mph pretty much shattering my hip, rebounds off and goes directly through the back of the martin and breaks that into about 40 pieces. overwhealmed by pain i feel down the rest of the stairs. i went the hospital with a broken hip, and was never allowed back into his studio again. moral of the story? take your equipment with you everywhere you go!


Read that through about 4 times, laughed my guts out each time. PRICELESS.

[0.1 watts]

In our latest gig we headlined a big venue. Everything went perfect, but then halfway into our first song I broke the B string on my electric! I wasnt even playing the B string! After a few seconds of paralysed confusion, I put down my guitar, ran backstage, got a spare out of a case and ran back on, plugged it in and played! Luckily the drummer had bought a spare with him just in case. The whole thing was recorded on video and it was hilarious looking back on it. Later in the set I picked up my acoustic to play a ballad, and the bottom E had gone right out of tune... Moral of the story: Keep your spares on stage, and tune up as late as you can

[derwoodski]

ya them temperature changes can be a *****....D

[vixousegoldfish]

i wish i had a nice vintage guitar to lose... anyone can feel free to send me one... i will give you the mailing adress lol...

anyway.



My high school had about 1400 people... and they were all there the night of the talent show... I got up on stage with my peavey solid state and my 80's yamaha which was my first guitar and amp... no effects pedals or nuthin'... i had a drummer and an alto sax which were both really talented musicians... We got our blues mojo goin with a slick intro and we were sounden awesome... then we continued with some really serious sounding bluse stuff... keeping the feel the sax player sang the song which was hilarious called the "Kool aid blues" and the whole time since the intro the whole audience was digging it and screaming and lauphing as loud as i have ever heard a crowd do... then it came to the solo section... first came the sax solo it was really good (i was just layin down quite rythm)... then i ripped through a solo on guitar(not bad but it lacked form)... Finally me and the sax player duel... you know like leaning into eachother and playing as hard core or possible... now we had this thing won for sure...


Until they announced the next act... "Billy brockington and ........(i dont recall the groups name)" Billy was an legend at our school and he was a very good singer. even befor the performance started the crowd was already yelling just as loud as when during our performance... to say the least they won... but we didnt have a chance billy had it won befor he even walked on stage and did some cheesy r and b / rap performance...

i liked their performance it was good... but ours was significantly better

[NAJ]

I was performing with my band at a bar in London, we arrived and the place was emtpy except for one guy in booth. We sound checked, the place was still empty.

We completed our first set, there was about 3 people watching. We asked at the bar why the place was empty for a Saturday night. The owner told us that a guy came in the previous night who apparently had a grudge with the owner, and started an argument and shot 2 customers...and said that he would be back the next day and the next day until customers started going to his bar...

Happy days......

[Eclectifish]

Very first bar gig:

We were a basic rock cover band, doing stuff like Bad Company, Skynyrd, Grand Funk, Deep Purple etc. We had a four night stint at this little place in very rural Louisiana. We show up and run through a couple of songs on sound check. The club owner saunters over to us and says (in an horrendous southern drawl): "Now boys, c'mon over here and I'll show you what yur gonna be playin' tonight. He proceeds to drag us four bewildered teenagers over to the juke box where he lays out our set list for the night, filling it with such great anthems as Hank Williams, "Cheatin' Heart", and every song Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash ever did. And, of course, we were supposed to learn all of these songs in the next two hours. If not, we can pack up and go home with no money (not an acceptable solution as we had to pay for the truck and other overhead). So we compromised. We actually did learn some of the songs, a couple of the guys in the band already knew some country and did it as a duet, and we sang every rock song we could with a twang. That was OK on the Skynyrd, and Bad Company's "Feel Like Makin' Love" actually kind of works in that style. Deep Purple just won't fit too well in the genre, though.

It was a strange week, all in all.

[Audiocide]

me and my friend/bandmate were at a show once and we had played our short set, so we mingled amongst the crowd. the band on stage by the name of "stiff noodle" decided to add a little rock n roll flair to the show with pyrotechnics, and while mediocre it was still cool. after their all-too showy lead guitarist plays a sort of wavering but still together solo with his teeth, he decides he can afford a new guitar and chucks his into the crowd.

unfortunately, i don't have a leash for the second guitarist in my band, who had wandered 5 feet from stage. the guitar apparently hit him square in the head, causing him to roar above the drum sounds and clatter of banging guitars, and then he proceeded to pick up the les paul copy, chuck it back onstage (and he's a big guy), hit the lead guitarist in the head (and the guitar ricocheted off of him and onto the bassist). Their bassist proceeded to block the oncoming axe with his bass, therefore ramming his headstock into the 4x12 next to him, and in his surprise he jumped back, hit the snare and crushed the snare stand, and landed on the drummer, and all with grill cloth on his headstock.

then my guitarist charged the stage. we are not allowed there anymore... :rolleye:

only funny thing that's ever happened, besides teh time a cow wandered into one of the outdoorsers we played once. as soon as we went into our first song the cow hit someone's truck or something, and we lost a fan or two. but oh well. lol

[Terren]

That.... was the funniest thing I've read in a long time hahaha.

I love it how the domino effects just proves insanely humerous in situations like this. If cought on tape, would be a prized posetion amongst anyone, namely to win 100,000 dollars on AFV lol.

[t_shirtsnjeans]

I went on stage once naked like the dude on that band, ya know, that band that the dude goes on stage naked but has his bass in front of him, you knowwwww,.

Anyway I didn't realize I'd left my guitar on stage as I was walking on and like I was so embarrassed and like I was like 'Dude, my guitar is on stage, and I'm like naked and stuff, and dude, would you like get my guitar for me like?' But dude wouldn't get my like guitar and like I had to go like on stage to like get my guitar and like everyone was laughing at like me so I was goin' like 'Hey, what are you guys like laughing at like?' and they all like booed and laughed like and all that and then I realized I had all my clothes on but I was like riding a little pig..........................


.............and he like squealled like a........uh,.............well........uh,.......lik e.........'squeeeeeellllll'! :toohappy: :toohappy:

[elvisdudette]

^ lol what the hell i was confused towards the end but very funny lol

[PerianArdocyl]

These are hilarious! Here's mine:

Ever heard of "Day of Silence"? Something at my school. Anyway, I had to keep silent the whole day until the last bell rang, and I had my guitar with me. All my friends were kind of sign-talking at the table, so that was pretty fun. Tiff pointed to my guitar and imitated air-guitar. I joined along with her, and she made a gesture as if to say, "No, no, no." and then she air-guitared again. So I air-guitared again, and she made the gesture again, so I stopped (again). Then she air-guitared again, SO I air-guitared (again) and she put a hand on my shoulder and we went on like that for a while until the other Tiff pointed to the guitar and then to herself and I was like "OHHHHHH you wanna see the guitar!!" :p

[Grim Riffer]

Not guitar related at all but I was on the road on business:

While my boss and I were in Indiana on business we stopped to buy beer at a store, after my boss got out of the car I farted and then got out, he didn't know I farted. When we came back out to the car my boss opened the door and screamed. He said somebody must have crapped in the car while we were in the store. I had to tell him it was me when he wanted to call the police to have the car searched to see if somebody left a steaming turd somewhere in the car. He drove with his head out the window the whole way back to the hotel. It was 15 degrees Farenheit.

[0.1 watts]

hahaha no offense to your boss but why the hell would he think someone had broken in??! I hope u still got ur job!

[Grim Riffer]

Yeah, I still got my job. He couldn't figure out why it smelled so bad in the car after we came out and not before we went in so he thought somebody did domething while we were in the store.

[gruzzy]

While my boss and I were in Indiana on business we stopped to buy beer at a store, after my boss got out of the car I farted and then got out, he didn't know I farted. When we came back out to the car my boss opened the door and screamed. He said somebody must have crapped in the car while we were in the store. I had to tell him it was me when he wanted to call the police to have the car searched to see if somebody left a steaming turd somewhere in the car. He drove with his head out the window the whole way back to the hotel. It was 15 degrees Farenheit.


Hey man, maybe you should change your name to the Grim Ripper instead. :p

[unclebobscircus]

I was performing with my band at a bar in London, we arrived and the place was emtpy except for one guy in booth. We sound checked, the place was still empty.

We completed our first set, there was about 3 people watching. We asked at the bar why the place was empty for a Saturday night. The owner told us that a guy came in the previous night who apparently had a grudge with the owner, and started an argument and shot 2 customers...and said that he would be back the next day and the next day until customers started going to his bar...

Happy days......
Wow.

[NinjaBoat]

Last gig our vocalist forgot the lyrics and i didn't turn on my amp and our bassists mic didn't work. Having to start a song over is pretty embarassing in front of that many people...

[PerianArdocyl]

I was playing guitar out in front of the school and (I've got a few spectators by this time) this guy comes up and stoops to place a quarter on the ground in front of me. The spectators and I all had a good laugh with that one!

[jamlikehendrix]

my band and I were practicing for a school beneifit show and the whole step team (step team is like dancing and stomping to a rhthym, its only because I live in the hood) walks in and starts booing so we finish the song and our drummer stands up and goes "F*** you step team!" throws his drum sticks at them and runs into them and out the door

[mk-ultra]

^^ lmao

[DragonRdr89]

my band and I were practicing for a school beneifit show and the whole step team (step team is like dancing and stomping to a rhthym, its only because I live in the hood) walks in and starts booing so we finish the song and our drummer stands up and goes "F*** you step team!" throws his drum sticks at them and runs into them and out the door
I hate people from the hood. The only music we ever hear at our school is rap. They played a total of 3 rock songs this year (hell, not even rock, more like pop).
To return to the main topic, I don't have any funny stories yet. I only started playing last year, so yea...

[Lazy Bee]

Funny all these years later. Once at gig in the middle of Wyoming, a fight broke out in the club. Our sound man couldn't see it coming his way from behind him. I quit playing, put my guitar in a stand, and headed cross the dance floor. Just as the group of people fighting reached the mixer, the mob (if you will) turned right and just bumped the sound man and mixer table. Our sound man followed the group all upset. As I reached the pile, our sound man was reaching down to pull them apart...so I thought...as I leaned in, he drew back a right fist and his elbow hit me in the cheek as I was going in. It was all I could do to get back to the stage...I swear it just about knocked me out. The band was laughing their arsses off...my brothas. :(
I never left the stage again for a fight. That reminds of another fight in Torringtom Wy. at another club. Ahhh the good ol days. :rolleye:

[Jimmy_Page]

haha.

ummmmmmmmmm funny experiences............

oh i got one,

i was at a studio for bandpractice and my bass player turned his mp3 player too loud (it was hooked up to te speakers) i shouted and sreamed at him but he didnt listen, so i threw a drumstick and he turned round, it took about 1/4 of his eyebrow clean off. hehe good times.......

[77Lespaulcustom]

lucky you didnt take his eye out ... haha that would be the end of that band or that guy in the band haha

[phingerboard]

Was in a lunch joint with my kids one day, and Peter Wolf was in there. He walked by a few times to use his cellphone outside, and my daughter (6 years old) couldn't help but notice and was very curious about his choice of apparel - all black from head to toe.

So she whispers to me "Daddy, why does that man dress like that?"

I tell her that the man is a very famous singer named Peter Wolf, and explained to her that singers like to dress fancy.

A little while later we're walking by Tower Records and she starts tugging on my shirt, "Daddy! Can we go in and get that CD?"

"What CD?" I ask.

"That man, PETER RABBIT."

I never laughed so hard in my life.

[Slipstream]

Was in a lunch joint with my kids one day, and Peter Wolf was in there. He walked by a few times to use his cellphone outside, and my daughter (6 years old) couldn't help but notice and was very curious about his choice of apparel - all black from head to toe.

So she whispers to me "Daddy, why does that man dress like that?"

I tell her that the man is a very famous singer named Peter Wolf, and explained to her that singers like to dress fancy.

A little while later we're walking by Tower Records and she starts tugging on my shirt, "Daddy! Can we go in and get that CD?"

"What CD?" I ask.

"That man, PETER RABBIT."

I never laughed so hard in my life.LOL, that's cute. :)

[KingAngus]

My band is about 75% together at the moment, got a bassist guitarist and a drummer, no vocals yet, but all the same we were jammin together, and we were in the middle of "Big Guns" by AC/DC, and my friend who plays bass, just gets totally lost, so he starts jammin the solo from the beginning of N.I.B, by Sabbath, it was hilarious

[Puddlegum66]

Thats funny. But how did he get lost doing Big Gun? Maybe a cerebral flatulation?

[KingAngus]

I dont know what that means, but yeah, he got lost

[gruzzy]

I dont know what that means

Brain fart. ;)

[Lazy Bee]

"What CD?" I ask.

"That man, PETER RABBIT."

I never laughed so hard in my life.

Only from the mouth of babes. Hilarious! :p

[GuitarChick]

I was watching ValveTronix's band in Germany play at a Freedom Fest, and during 'SuperTerrorizer', which is 1 step down, then drop D. He snapped a string. I ran and got another one of his Les Pauls and took it out to him, and we swtiched the guitars using the same strap. A few second later everything sounded horible and he looked at me kinda mad, that guitar was 1 step down, not droped D. He played the next octave up on the open D string untill he got time to tune the E string down a step.

He came back after that song and tuned with his strobe, and said 'Sheesh, you call yourself a guitar player!?' He was just joking though :)

It wasnt very funny at all at the time. But after the show we all had a good laugh at me session.

[Ranger]

Not guitar related at all but I was on the road on business:

While my boss and I were in Indiana on business we stopped to buy beer at a store, after my boss got out of the car I farted and then got out, he didn't know I farted. When we came back out to the car my boss opened the door and screamed. He said somebody must have crapped in the car while we were in the store. I had to tell him it was me when he wanted to call the police to have the car searched to see if somebody left a steaming turd somewhere in the car. He drove with his head out the window the whole way back to the hotel. It was 15 degrees Farenheit.

Lmfao...that's great. I wouldn't think that would happen, I mean, it usually takes about 10-15 seconds for the fart to air out of the pants. You must have timed it. :D

I just love how he jumps to the conclusion somebody got in the car, pooped in it, and left. :lmao:I mean dude where do you get that idea from? It must have been a really really raunchy chunk of fart there man. Cheers.

[Slipstream]

I hate it when someone dumps in you're car. Like, no respect, ya know what I mean?


:lmao:

[Stray Dog]

haha.

ummmmmmmmmm funny experiences............

oh i got one,

i was at a studio for bandpractice and my bass player turned his mp3 player too loud (it was hooked up to te speakers) i shouted and sreamed at him but he didnt listen, so i threw a drumstick and he turned round, it took about 1/4 of his eyebrow clean off. hehe good times.......

:eek: How the hell do you take someone's eyebrow off by hitting them with a stick??????

[mk-ultra]

lol

[Wildhawk]

Years ago there were two guys that would pack the local bar. One played acoustic the other one bass. Filled the place every weekend.

One night a drunk kept yelling out "Play some Lennon" every fifteen minutes. As the night went on the guitarist tired of the drunk and told him in front of the crowd he'd play some Lennon for a beer.

The drunk staggered his way to the stage and handed a full pitcher to him which he emptied in one tip. The drunk took the empty container and headed back to his perch.

And not a Lennon song or even Beatles was heard the rest of the night....