Need constructive criticism... badly.

[LGMR]

Okay, I'm kind of embarrassed to put this on here. But I need to know how to sing and write better. This is a song I wrote called "Tearing It Apart". It's pretty bad.

***WARING*** http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RT7kSWufdrg ***WARNING*** (Not for the faint of heart. This video will go offline in a week or so.)


How can I learn to sing better? I hate the way that sounds, the way I sound. I know I'm off key quite a few times, but even when I'm on key it doesn't sound good.


Here are the lyrics:

Lying in this dirty street
trying to find a way to meet
all the plans I have for myself
but I can't do anything right
all I can do is stay and fight
even when everything is lost
and you were

Never there for me
never once tried to help me
and you were always at my side
But you can't bring me down
Even though you went around
and tried to tear my life apart

Trying to get away from you
and pull my life though
all the wounds you made
but your obsessiveness
has cause great distress
in my entire world
and you were

Never there for me
never once tried to help me
and you were always at my side
But you can't bring me down
Even though you went around
and tried to tear my life apart

Lying in this dirty street
trying to find a way to meet
all the plans I have for myself
but I can't do anything right
all I can do is stay and fight
even when everything is lost
and you were

Never there for me
never once tried to help me
and you were always at my side
But you can't bring me down
Even though you went around
and tried to tear my life apart

And in all
You're tearing it apart


What can I do to just get better at singing and song writing?

[Squizz]

Ok, first of all, the song is good. I really enjoyed it. Yeah you were off key a little in some parts but your voice wasn't cracking or anything. I think you should lay down a backing track for yourself and try matching a melody with the guitar. That will give you a reference of to match your singing to. As far as how it sounds, maybe add a little growl or something. Something like the guy from sevendust. listen to Angel's Son.

Also keep in mind that I'm fairly new to all this and these are just suggestions. Hope some of it helps. Anyway, keep it up. I think you have a good start.

[LGMR]

I listened to it another time. Most of the off key notes are the last word on a line. I am off key a lot. I've been taking voice lessons for the last two months. I can say this, I'm 1000X better now than when I started. (I wasn't able to hit a single note when I started.) I still need a lot of practice. Let's see, I need to play the song more, and get the notes worked out. I need to keep working on my voice. I'll try adding some grit.

Thanks for the positive input on the lyrics. That's the first song I ever wrote that I was satisfied with. (And the only good, finished one I have at the moment.)

Also, a recording interface for my PC and a condenser mic would be good. I heard the MBox mini was good. Is there anything better for the money? Also, is the Shure SM57 any good for miking an amp?

[Squizz]

i use a line 6 toneport and record with Audacity. It cost me $50 bucks and has tons of effects that come with it. it plugs into the pc thru usb and you just plug your guitar straight into the unit. I only play at home this way 98% of the time. Only play thru my crappy little practice amp when i HAVE to hear something more real sounding. I think almost anybody that has this product will endorse it. They make another model thats like $30-$40 more. It will let you plug a mic in as well. Useful if you play a lot of acoustic and sing :D

[LGMR]

Okay, I'm going to try just singing the chours with a few different keys and vocal styles. I'm going to find out what works best for me, but I need you're guy's input. I'm going to hopefully stay on key better, as I'll just be hitting one note and matching it. Here's what I did:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0B2q2COanOA

Comment, or say whatever.

[Reags]

Hey there LGMR

I like the song, cool melody thats fits with your lyric.

As far as your voice goes, I wouls stick with lessons for a bit if they have helped as much as you say they have. Eventually all will sink into line and you'll hit all your notes, then you can start playing around with obscure notes you might not have thought o before.

Squizz commented on the Line6 tone port, and I agree, its an awesome product. I have the version with two inputs (for mic and guitar) and its fantastic value for money.

[LGMR]

thanks... i'll keep working on it. (Man, I suck.) Does anyone have any voice learning material they'd like to share with me? Also, can someone tell me if my vocal instructor was teaching me well? Usually, we'd start the lesson with a few scales, then most of the lesson would be him singing and telling me to try and match him. Then at the end, he would have me go home and do scales. Is that what most instructors do?