second try! (different song, not a revision)

[nick b]

alright, i tried throwing something together pretty quick last night, and then fixed it up a bit this morning. critiques greatly welcomed!

I got trapped in the circus,
for I followed a clown.
He gave me some face paint,
and dressed me with a frown.

I dance and dance and dance all day
I dance and shake hands in the usual way
I dance and dance and dance with dismay
But the paint on our faces' says it's okay.

I practice my spins
and flips in the air
I practice for you
but who really cares?

I dance and dance and dance all day
I dance and shake hands in the usual way
Clown's think it rude to mean what you say
So let me paint my face, and we'll get along ok.

But what happens the day the big circus closes?
We'll be lost in the woods, red paint on our noses.
So before the great party comes to an end,
Let's wash off this paint, we don't have to pretend!

(And we'll dance and dance and dance all day,
We'll dance and shake hands in an unusual way.
We'll do what we want, not what you say.
And we'll be maskless people for as long as we may!)


i just tossed that last verse in to try to sum it up, but i dont think it works very well in there. hmmm.

[emersa_guitar]

Your songwriting keeps bringing me to a floydish sound, I don't know why. Great song you've got here. Keep it up bro.