nick b
October 30th, 2008, 02:16 AM
well, my plan is to try and write a song a day (we'll see how long that lasts!), and rather than just abuse the heck out of this forum, i figured i'd just keep um all in one thread, if thats ok. here's what i've got for today, it was based off the same...imagery? idea? whatever, as the second song (i made a thread for it), but pretty completely different haha:
Let me tell you of a place
A place of tall tents
bursting at their seams
its a place you can't imagine
farther than the wildest dreams
a place where all people
wear masks to hide
their distored faces
ruined by pride
they play their songs
and brush their teeth
most never find
what sleeps underneath
they all laugh
at each others jokes
tightening their grips
on the tautest of ropes
but a few of us made it
away from that circus
we flew to the mountains
but what lay before us
it was windy and cold
the snow made us shiver
but we forced our way
up the swirling river
we've long since thrown
the masks we once wore
our faces held high
though we sit on the floor
yet we still can't forget
that city of trials
a city of people
that paint on their smiles!
thats it. its really awful, but i can't seem to write anything without rhyming. like it just doesnt flow at all if i try not to rhyme haha. but anyways, i'd very much appreciate any help/critiques/feedback on any and all the songs i'll post here, so feel free! i can take it rough!
Let me tell you of a place
A place of tall tents
bursting at their seams
its a place you can't imagine
farther than the wildest dreams
a place where all people
wear masks to hide
their distored faces
ruined by pride
they play their songs
and brush their teeth
most never find
what sleeps underneath
they all laugh
at each others jokes
tightening their grips
on the tautest of ropes
but a few of us made it
away from that circus
we flew to the mountains
but what lay before us
it was windy and cold
the snow made us shiver
but we forced our way
up the swirling river
we've long since thrown
the masks we once wore
our faces held high
though we sit on the floor
yet we still can't forget
that city of trials
a city of people
that paint on their smiles!
thats it. its really awful, but i can't seem to write anything without rhyming. like it just doesnt flow at all if i try not to rhyme haha. but anyways, i'd very much appreciate any help/critiques/feedback on any and all the songs i'll post here, so feel free! i can take it rough!